Finding Balance in Activity and Being Bored
Keeping toddlers busy and active without over scheduling them is like orchestrating a perfectly choreographed dance. You want your child to be socialized and getting used to some structured time but you also want them to be free to get bored and discover.
You also need to get things done and do all of this without breaking the bank.
My introduction to all the activities available to Charlie was when he was just a few months old. Friends were gearing up to go back to work and were trying to figure out how to fill their kids’ time while they were home with their helpers. The options streamed in. Some sounded great. Others sounded daunting. Even more sounded downright expensive - $45 for a 30 minute music class at 4 months old? Not while trying to pay down debt. Nope.
For the most part, playdates have filled Charlie’s time for the first year and a half of his life. We’re lucky to have a tight group of moms and babies where all the moms get along great and the kids play well together.
Once Charlie hit 18 months and we were out of lockdown, I knew I wanted to start a few activities on a regular basis. Not all of these actually have any structure within the activity itself. But they happen regularly on our calendar so Charlie and I are not wandering through our weeks aimlessly.
My goal with Charlie at this age (21 months this week) is for him to have fun in nature, learn through discovery and not be afraid of getting dirty.
Here are our three current favorites:
Kidmando
Kidmando focuses on the development of fundamental movement skills through play. We call this Charlie’s “sports” class although they don’t play any real “sports” at this age. Charlie loves the obstacle course, throwing balls from platforms into buckets and all the other fun games Coach Eve puts together. I love that it works on his fine motor skills, gives a little structure and is a whole lot of fun. We go 2-3 times per month.
Website: https://www.kidmando.com/
Cost: S$90 for a 5 class pass (under 2 years old). There is also no weekly commitment, which I love.
Messy Play at Kaboodle
Kaboodle is a great indoor play space for using the imagination. It is located in Katong Square mall and this is one of our favorite spots on a Friday afternoon. A play session is 3 hours long and it gives you free access to a 30 minute messy play in the side area. Charlie is always a bit hesitant at the start but he ends up loving the sensory play - especially dumping the buckets. We try to go once a month.
Website: https://www.kaboodle.com.sg/
Cost: S$15 for 6-35 months; S$10 for accompanying adult but you get a free drink (this is a Covid addition because they have to limit the numbers). There is also a 10 class pass for ~S$110.
Nature Play at Wildings Forest School
Nature play is what I wish Charlie could do every day. He gets unstructured time in nature where the whole point is to explore and get dirty. We only make it to nature play once or twice a month because it is about a 25-minute taxi each way and it is quite an excursion to get to Dempsey. We go on Thursdays for the accompanied play session from 3:00-5:30pm. Some weeks we grab an easy dinner at Baker & Cook next door.
Website: https://www.wildlings.sg/
Cost: S$20 per session
The only activity that happens every week is our standing playdate with Charlie’s BFF, Nora, and her mom on Wednesday afternoons. These playdates are fun because we mix it up. Some weeks we host at our apartments but other weeks we meet at a museum or soft play or the zoo. We even went to a trampoline gym one week - that was FUN with toddlers!
We also have two trips to the chiropractor each week. While this could go in the next section about life’s demands, this is now an activity that Charlie loves!
The 1-hour roundtrip on the bus used to stress me out. Especially once Charlie had to be out of his stroller to watch cars and wouldn’t sit still in the seat. It felt like it ate up our entire afternoon, twice a week.
But then Nick started riding his bike for his appointments! Genius! Charlie loves bike rides and we get to spend half the bike ride under the MRT (subway) tracks. He spends the whole bike ride looking for diggers, trucks and “choo choos.” The bike ride is 25 minutes each way and I get a little work out in, can listen to a podcast and he is entertained!
Finding Balance Between Activity and Life’s Demands
I am constantly trying to balance getting us out of the house enough so we are not overly bored but also not over-scheduling us. I also have to balance in laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and all those fun things that keep the house going. It really is a dance week after week. I am still being treated for adrenal fatigue so it’s not healthy for me or my family for us to be running around day in and day out.
We’ve fallen into a nice routine where we have a few things that are on our schedule at the beginning of the week. From there I see what appointments I have and what things need to get done that week.
10 Block System
I look at the week as 10 blocks of time - before nap and after nap, Monday-Friday. I always do my best to give us at least 4-5 “at home” blocks. This is when I let Charlie explore independently, read to him or set something up like coloring. While he plays, I am able to throw laundry in, plan meals, make grocery lists and clean up.
We usually use a few of those blocks each week to run local errands - a trip to the hardware store around the corner, stop at the post office up the street or a 10 minute walk to the grocery store. I can throw him in the stroller, put in my ear pods and listen to a podcast. Once the errand is done, we hit up one of the few playgrounds we have in our neighborhood. Mama is productive and Charlie gets to watch the world and then get some wiggles out.
Some weeks, like this week, are busier. Blocks got filled quickly and I feel a bit more on edge and overwhelmed.
Monday morning - ENT follow up appointment
Monday afternoon - chiro trip
Tuesday morning - “at home”
Tuesday afternoon - chiro trip
Wednesday morning - Kidmando (it rained so I detoured and took him to soft play instead)
Wednesday afternoon - playdate at Nora’s
Thursday morning - playdate at Aurora’s
Thursday afternoon - Nature Play
Friday morning - “at home”
Friday afternoon - “at home”
Next week will be different. I won’t have the ENT appointment, we won’t have the Thursday playdate or nature play. The week will feel a bit slower and we will need it. No week is perfect but we’re slowly but surely finding the balance. When we have more downtime and all the “to-dos” are crossed off, we love heading to Telok Kurau playground, the sand pit and stumps outside PS Cafe in East Coast Park or just riding along the coastline.
Even the slow days can feel busy right now so I like to pull us back home, slow down and focus on being ok with being bored. I am learning how to do this right alongside Charlie. Before I know it, April will be here and my little boy will start preschool and I will likely be bored out of my mind with all the free time!
