Your period is irregular. You randomly experience waves of heat and break out in sweats. You’re having trouble sleeping through the night. You’re gaining weight. Your breasts are changing—and not for the better. You might even experience drastic mood swings. Welcome to beginning stages menopause.

When my husband and I decided to explore the possibility of pregnancy, we assumed we would get pregnant as soon as we put some intention behind it. I have spent my entire adult life trying not to get pregnant, so it must happen really easily, right? The answer is no, it’s not easy.

I was giving a presentation in front of my ninth grade English class the first time I bled through my pants. I was mortified and powerless. How did I not know my period was coming? How could I be so unprepared? Fifteen years later I am grateful that I recognize period symptoms and that I have tools to help me through my menstrual cycle.