5 Things I Detoxed in 2020

A new year is here and I don’t think I am the only one who was more than ready to say goodbye to 2020. Man, it kind of sucked, didn’t it? There were a ton of highlights, of course, but the complete disruption to normal life really took a toll on me.

I have a hard time when I am not in control. My anxiety spirals easily and it seeps into every aspect of my life. I have tried to work on this over the years but I was always able to keep some sense of control over most things in my life. Well, 2020 was a crash course for me. I was forced to let go of control of anything external.

So what did my anxious self do to feel like I had a sense of control in keeping myself healthy? I detoxed 5 things that I have wanted to detox for years.

Detox Item #1: Tampons

I remember being in the Crossfit Box in Hanoi when a friend and doTERRA customer asked me what tampons I used. “OB??” I said back hesitantly. The question had taken me by surprise. By the look on her face - slightly confused - I think my answer surprised her. We left the conversation at that but as I ruminated on it, I realized she knew about all the chemicals and nasties in tampons and was keen to hear what low-tox version I used. I was the “toxin free living girl,” after all.

I’d like to say I dived into a ton of research from there but it really only took one article to open my eyes to everything that can be found in feminine care products (ahem, Monsanto Round-Up!). If you want to read some more about this, I recommend checking out this Q&A from Goop.com.

A big focus of mine in 2020 was to support more women-owned and black-owned small businesses. You can imagine my excitement when I discovered Honey Pot Tampons, a company that uses “only the good stuff” - i.e. no chemicals, toxins, artificial fragrance, or anything synthetic - and is owned by Bea Dixon from Atlanta (another reason I liked the company - my mama and sister live in ATL).

I have been using Honey Pot Tampons for about 6 months now and have zero complaints.

They work just as well as anything I’ve ever used before and they aren’t harming me or the planet. You can shop for them on Amazon or iHerb, if you’re in Singapore/abroad.

Detox Item #2: Our Drinking Water

Did you know you really should be filtering your drinking water? Nope. I didn’t either. I mean, I knew it was something people did. I have owned Brita filters before but, honestly, used them as a way to keep water cold. I almost never changed the filter inside. When I moved to Singapore I had a really similar conversation to the one I had with my friend in Hanoi about tampons.

“What water filter do you use?” My friend asked. “I don’t use one…” “Oh, that surprises me!”

That conversation has played over and over in my head since I had it in late 2018. Once again, I’d like to say I did a deep dive into research on why we need to filter our water but I didn’t. I just started to notice that everyone did. And I would notice mentions of what is actually in our water (heavy metals, fluoride, chorine, to name a few) in articles I’d read about health and wellness.

Having Charlie made me rethink the safety of our drinking water. Friends here were either giving their children bottled water (this was never an option because of the single use plastic), boiling the water for at least 10 minutes and then cooling (we did this for more than a year) or filtering their water. No one gave their children straight tap water. Hmm…

When a friend was gearing up for a move in November last year, she reached out to me to see if I would be interested in buying her Berkey Water Filter. I had heard of Berkeys in a few mom’s circles and knew they came highly recommended. Again, I didn’t research a ton. This friend is a mom and a friend I trust deeply and someone who does their research - you should have heard our conversations about dairy milk alternatives and what options had what fortifications!

The price was also appealing. Berkeys can sell for upwards $300-$500, depending on the size you purchase. You also have to replace the black Berkey filters every 6 months to a year, depending on how often you are filtering water.

The filters alone cost $100+ to replace. So when our friends offered us theirs for S$125 (a little less than $100), I jumped at the opportunity.

We’ve had the Berkey for about two months now and absolutely love it! It is slow to filter, which I take as a good sign - it’s really filtering our water. The water is crisp and clean and, the best news, we do not have to boil water for Charlie anymore!

Detox Item #3: My Makeup

Switching and ditching my old makeup has been a slow process. I bought $450 worth of products for my wedding and learned how to do it myself. I still remember my dad’s face when I told him how much I had spent. The idea had been that it would be cheaper to buy it and do it myself because our wedding ceremony and reception were on two different days - no need to pay a makeup artist twice. I thought it was brilliant.

My dad’s reaction to the cost made me want to use every last drop of that makeup before I started to switch over to cleaner beauty options. I also haven’t worn makeup often since moving to Asia, it is just too hot and it always melts off. In my postpartum life, I have found that applying a little bit of makeup daily does wonders for my mood and productivity. As our 5-year wedding anniversary approached, I knew it was time to throw away any remaining make up and start fresh.

Just like cleaning supplies and other personal care products, makeup can contain a lot of harmful ingredients. It’s not like applying lipstick will harm you immediately but when you think of the compound effect of using multiple products, day after day, year after year, it can lead to a toxic burden in your body. My philosophy is that if there is a cleaner option, I want to give it a try!

I found BeautyCounter about 4 years ago and have tried a few products, with much success, so I knew this was the product line I wanted to stick to. I also love that it is a direct selling company, which means I can support a friend’s small business while getting top of the line beauty products without a required monthly order or any pressure to sell. At BeautyCounter, they say, “We take safety seriously. Over 1,800 ingredients are never used in our formulations—we call this The Never List™—and we go above and beyond to test every ingredient against our high standards in pursuit of clean beauty.”

This makes me feel good.

Chances are, you already know someone with a BeautyCounter business. If you don’t, I highly recommend my friend, Jessica Dukes!

Detox Item #4: My DIY Nails

I have never had the patience to sit and get my nails done. In fact, it was always something I dreaded. That is until I found a salon in Singapore that has iPads set up at each station so you can plug in and watch whatever you’d like while getting your mani and pedi. The one downside, it wasn’t convenient for me to get to and they booked up fast. Any time I booked it, it added stress to our day as I rushed to make the appointment and then rushed home to resume family activities.

If you get my newsletter, you know that I am a big fan of Cassy Joy Garcia from FedandFit.com. I’ve followed her recommendations on a bunch of things at this point and have loved every single one. So when she started gushing about Dazzle Dry nail care, I perked up. Part of the reason I’ve always hated getting my nails done is I am far too impatient to sit and wait for my nails to dry. I inevitably smudge one of them and they all start chipping within a few days. She focused a lot of her review on how quickly they dried (less than 5 minutes) and how they lasted at least 10 days, and this is with two young children and running a business where food demos and dishes are constant.

Another massive perk: it is nontoxic and a socially conscious company.

“Dazzle Dry is free from harmful chemicals and skin-sensitizing ingredients such as toluene, formaldehyde, TPHP, nitrocellulose, camphor, formaldehyde resin, ethyl tosylamide, phthalates, xylene, and MEK.”

“Our products are never tested on animals. They are free of animal byproducts and formulated with vegan alternatives for carmine, guanine, urea, stearic acid, lanolin, glycerin, collagen and beeswax.”

“We use eco-conscious materials, such as biodegradable packing peanuts, to cut packaging waste. Our manufacturing facilities employ rigorous recycling methods to significantly reduce landfill trash, and we are phasing out single-use plastics to make way for more sustainable packaging and shipping solutions.”

And this just scratches the surface of this amazing company. A starter kit is $75 and includes their four step system and a nail lacquer. After that, each additional color is $18. I have been using this system for a little over a month now (3 manicures and 2 pedicures, with the second one still going strong) and I am obsessed. It’s easy to apply, dries unbelievably quickly, lasts for 10 days+ and looks professionally done.

Dazzle Dry is a US company but also has operations in Australia. If you’re in Singapore and interested, just reach out to me and I can help you.

Detox Item #5: Busy-ness

The last thing I detoxed in 2020 was constantly being busy. There was something so beautiful about our 7 week circuit breaker (full lockdown) in Singapore - we were not busy. We were forced to slow down and find joy and fun inside the walls of our home. We also zeroed in on the relationships that are really important in our lives and spoke to those people often. Once we were “free” in June, life seemed to snap right back to where it was pre-lockdown, well not completely, we are still living with a ton of restrictions in Singapore. But our schedules filled and I found myself declining social events with my favorite people in Singapore because we had booked something in with someone else.

As I am getting older, I realize that saying no and setting boundaries on my time doesn’t make me a bad person. Someone may be offended by it but, honestly, that’s their thing to work through, not mine. I have always said yes in an effort not to upset the people around me. But what has happened over the years and especially as a new mom is that my mental health was the thing at stake. The more I said yes and tried to people please, the more I slipped into an unbalanced and unhealthy version of myself. When I slip into this space, I have a hard time loving myself and I have a harder time being a good mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend.

So as we head into 2021, I am giving myself permission to take extra commitments and responsibilities off my plate that don’t immediately support my intention for this year - balance, strength and energy.

One of the things I needed to take off my plate this year was to move my weekly blog post and newsletter to a monthly post and email. I absolutely love writing and sharing a glimpse into our little world but it is time consuming. I wish I could have all the time in the world to do all the things but I don’t.

As my therapist said to me recently, “I suspect you want to do that to make yourself superhuman.” I reflected on that comment after our Zoom session and it really resonated with me. I have also felt I needed to be superhuman. Be all the things for all the people in my life. Even at the risk of my own sanity. But I am not superhuman, nor do I want to be.

I want to be a good mom, a good wife and have the balance, strength and energy to tackle each day in a way that feeds into my balance, strength and energy. I hope to show up in a big way each month when I do sit down to write and I hope you’ll still be here.

Thank you for all of your support in 2020. Here’s to a year full of new possibilities and opportunities to learn!