Water Birth in Singapore
As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I had a deep knowing that my body was made to deliver a baby. The goal was a drug free, water birth and I was determined to do as much as I could to achieve it.
There is a lot that does not go to plan in labor and delivery. I had to let go of anxiety around the “what ifs” and trust that our birth would be exactly what it needed to be to bring Charlie safely into the world.
With that in mind, I wanted to be prepared for anything.
Before moving to Singapore at 20 weeks pregnant, a friend connected us to Ginny at Four Trimesters Birth Sanctuary. I highly recommend the antenatal course! You meet in an intimate setting with a few other couples for six weeks and cover everything from hypnobirthing to breastfeeding and beyond. We covered things I didn’t even realize were a part of birth and I left feeling like I had much more control over the outcome than I ever imagined possible.
Part of our course was preparing a birth plan. Ours ended up being 5 pages long! We had each scenario written out - what order to move in for an induction, what we wanted if I needed an epidural, what would happen if I needed a c-section and more. I am just a tad type A…
We also made sure we had the right support for the birth we wanted. We chose to deliver at NUH, National University Hospital, for two reasons - cost and the water birthing facilities. I did not have medical insurance for the birth, which meant we were paying for all of it out of pocket. NUH is a public hospital and offered us everything we needed and more at a very reasonable price. Seriously, it is nicer than any hospital I have ever visited elsewhere in the world and I would not change a single thing about our birthing experience there.
We got connected to Dr. Anupriya by chance and I am so glad we did. She gave us a little resistance to our ideas at first but as my due date approached, I think she saw our determination and our commitment to learning and being prepared for a drug-free water birth. Thankfully, she fully supported our plan.
The last piece of the puzzle was a doula. Doulas provide birthing support for you and your partner. We live far from family and knew we wanted someone in the room to advocate for us. At 35 weeks, we hired Deanna, a former theater performer from Canada, and we were ready!
At my 38 week check, the doctor told me I was 2cm dilated and about 25% effaced. She told me I would likely be back before my next appointment. I was ready and mentally moved into a space of expecting Charlie any day. Joke was on me!
My next appointment rolled around and the nurse asked if I wanted a membrane sweep to try and get things going. Nope, only 39 weeks and we wanted to avoid all forms of induction as long as possible. I was eager but definitely ok to keep him cooking.
40 weeks… still no baby. Lots of fluid, healthy placenta, Charlie was measuring around 7 1/2lbs and we were both healthy.
At this point it was a joke that I had made it a bit too cozy for him in there. I scheduled an in-home massage with Warda from Nik’s Bodywork so she could cover me in clary sage (known to intensify contractions) and massage Charlie out! No luck...
I went in again at 40 weeks and 6 days. Dr. Anupriya had originally wanted to do an induction 3 days past my due date but I pushed her to agree to 10 days past due as long as everything looked good. With that 10 day mark looming, I agreed to a membrane sweep in hopes we could get things going as naturally as possible.
(ignore this next part, parents)
At the suggestion of a friend of mine who is a midwife, we also had sex that afternoon. Apparently a sweep plus sex can really get things going! I was hopeful…
(parents keep reading)
This puts us at Thursday. I had a meet up with my mom friends who, at that point, had all delivered their gorgeous babes. A morning coffee date moved into a leisurely lunch by the pool.
Looking back, I had my first major contraction at lunch although I thought it was cramping from the food I ate. I had a sudden tightness in my belly and had to get up and walk around. I said my goodbyes, hopeful this was the beginning. I spent the rest of the afternoon at home with a heated rice sock wrapped around my lower belly. And then it stopped.
Friday came and with that, my doula left for vacation.
We hadn’t planned for Charlie to come this late. Deanna set us up with Emeline as her back up. We connected and everything was in place for her to support us when the time came.
Friday night. I felt good enough to go out for Thai food with 4 other couples. Around 10pm, while still at dinner, I had the most intense contraction yet. I had to excuse myself from the table and walk around. It passed. An hour later the guys started ordering shots and I told Nick it was time to go home. At 8 days past due, I didn’t need an inebriated husband in case I went into full blown labor that night.
At 4:15am I got out of bed to go to the bathroom, which was pretty routine at 41 weeks+ pregnant. As I walked back to bed I looked down at my belly and said, “Welp, today’s your last chance to come out on your own, buddy.” I was scheduled to be induced the next morning at 8am. I laid back down, got myself as comfortable as I could and, right as I was falling back asleep, I heard a pop and felt a small trickle of water. I rolled over, tapped Nick on the arm and said, “I think my water just broke.”
We turned on the lights, texted Emeline and immediately started to strip the bed - I’m a neat freak and type A, even in labor. We called the hospital and they told us to get ourselves ready and for me to eat a snack and take a shower then head to the hospital when the contractions became closer together. By the time I was in the shower, the contractions were intense enough to take my breath away. When I got out and got myself dressed they were lasting a minute and only two minutes apart. We called a taxi and got out the door.
We arrived at the hospital at 7am, after flying over a speed bump mid contraction - one of the three most painful points of my labor. We were upstairs and settled into our room at 7:30am and I had my first check with the doctor.
I was already 5cm dilated and things were moving quickly.
Nick got the diffuser going and put on the hypnobirthing track and touched base with Emeline. When she heard how close the contractions were, she headed our way.
The next 3 hours were a blur of intense waves of contractions, Nick making jokes (one included telling Emeline that our son’s name was going to be Donald Trump Jr.) and me trying to stay calm and breathe through it all.
Around 10:30am, I was exhausted. We didn’t get home from dinner until after midnight so I had only slept 4 hours. The contractions were coming closer together and the intensity was becoming more than I could handle. In between a contraction, I told Nick I wanted an epidural. He and Emeline assured me that I was doing a great job and, from their vantage point, I seemed calm and in control.
They encouraged me to keep breathing and wait for the doctor to come back in.
After that I went into a deep, primal state, asked my dad to help me through, and zoned in on the words on the hypnobirthing track. I let go of all tension in my body and breathed deep into each contraction.
At 11:30am, the doctor came in to check me. I had been laboring on my sides but turned to my back for the check. The doctor was mid way through the exam when a massive contraction hit and I bared down. I almost kicked him in the head, thrashed to my side and he announced that I was 8cm and he could see our baby's head. It was too late for an epidural or any pain management.
They asked if we wanted to move ahead with our plan to do a water birth and we were excited that the birth we had envisioned and planned for was becoming a reality. They did a final check on our heart rates and prepared the tub. I was told to get up as soon as a contraction finished otherwise I would deliver him as I walked to the water.
I got in the tub just before noon - the lights were dim, everything was calm and Nick was by my side. At 12:26pm and weighing in at 9lbs and 2oz, Charles James was born in the water and immediately brought to my chest.
